


Bits and Scraps

by DoomedTemperament



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Gen, M/M, Multi, unfinished works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 22:35:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11907597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedTemperament/pseuds/DoomedTemperament
Summary: A compilation of unfinished Kuroko no Basket fics, recovered from the depths of Google Drive.Pairings, fic style, and overall mood may vary.





	1. KagaKuroKise: VHD aside

“Are you sure you’re okay with this Kagamicchi?”

“Y-yeah, just do it before I change my mind.”

Kise hummed, and pulled Kuroko forward, pressing kisses against his bare neck.

The sight itself was almost enough to make Kagami snap his charcoal in half.

It had started innocently enough; Kagami had been stressed over a project in his digital media foundations class (“photomanipulation is a pain in the ass,” he had told Kise during a small rant,) and was in need of an outlet. Kuroko had suggested that he and Kise could spend the day with Kagami to distract him for a while. Kagami happily agreed.

It was a day later when the trio actually had time to spend with each other, and they had spent a good portion of it sitting on the couch, watching ridiculous game shows, and eating snack food. Kise had been contentedly sipping on a cup of strawberry milk when a particular skit in the show made him laugh so hard that he nearly choked on his drink, several pink splotches spilling onto his shirt.

“Ah, that’s the second time this shirt’s been stained, and I hardly ever get to wear it!”

“Kagami-kun has shirts that you can borrow, if you want to wash yours off.”

Kise nodded and set down his glass, then stood up to walk to the bathroom, taking his shirt off in the process.

Kagami couldn’t help but stare- the way the muscles in Kise’s arms and back shifted as he moved, the way he combed his fingers through his hair, mussing it ever so slightly, even when he stopped and angled himself so Kagami could see him better-

“Like what you see?” Kise said, waggling his eyebrows, and Kagami couldn’t stop himself.

“Yeah.”

He hadn’t intended to blurt that out, but there wasn’t any way to take it back, and there wasn’t much of a point in trying to anyway. They were all boyfriends, Kagami couldn’t be that much of a pervert if he wanted to take a closer look, right?

“You can take a picture, it will last longer,” Kise teased, “Or you could draw me, since that’s your specialty.”

“Can I really do that?” Kagami asked before he lost his courage.

Kise made a face like he hadn’t been expecting Kagami to take him seriously, but shrugged and smiled.

“Sure, just as soon as I wash off the stains on my shirt.”

Seven minutes later, and Kise was sitting on the coffee table, shirtless, with both Kuroko and Kagami’s eyes on him. Kagami watched him fidget.

“Are you feeling okay?” Kagami asked, and Kise scratched the back of his head.

“It’s a bit awkward being the only one without a shirt on and just having you two stare at me, but it’s fine.”

“If you want, I could join you,” Kuroko spoke.

“Are you just gonna plan on sitting here without a shirt while I draw him?” Kagami asked cautiously.

“No, I intend to pose alongside him.”

While Kagami wanted to argue that Kuroko didn’t have to do that, he didn’t- it would make things less awkward, true, and it would be good to get used to seeing his boyfriends in a more intimate way, even if it was just for the sake of a drawing.

That, and Kuroko was already unbuttoning his shirt. Once he had formed an idea, there was hardly any stopping him.

It wasn’t as if they were doing anything lewd- everyone still had their pants on, and all Kuroko did was sit beside Kise on the coffee table. Kagami sighed, and let himself slip into what he like to call (when nobody was around to hear it) “The Artist Zone.”

“Kise, relax your back a bit. You look too tense. Kuroko, can you angle yourself more?”

Kuroko raised an eyebrow in question, and Kagami tilted his head.

“If I’m gonna draw you two, I might as well make it look good, right?”

Seemingly pleased with Kagami’s answer, Kuroko and Kise did what they were told.


	2. Midorima x ???: Online Dating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this was supposed to be Midorima/Akashi, but I never got far enough to actually write in Akashi at all. Oops.

“But it’ll be fun!”

_“Absolutely not.”_

Takao pouted at Midorima from behind his desk. Midorima, for his part, was only somewhat grateful that he didn’t have any patients at the moment. Being a dentist meant meant free time in between appointments, and free time in between appointments meant time for the receptionist to pester him.

Somewhere along the lines of their careers, they had become friends.

“I know Kuroko found the guy he’s dating online.”

Midorima glared at the floor, uncomfortable with hearing about the tenant in the apartment next to him- there was something about Kuroko that rubbed him the wrong way, whether it be the way his eyes almost bore into Midorima’s soul, or the way he always seemed to appear out of nowhere.

“I still don’t know why you insist on being drinking buddies with him.”

“What can I say? He’s a funny drunk.” Takao grinned, shrugged, and looked at Midorima with a knowing twinkle in his eyes. “But you’re just trying to distract me now.”

_Damn, and it almost worked._

“Come on Shin-chan, there’s no shame in trying it. Lots of people get into online dating, and it’s easier to pick out the creeps from the interesting people. Plus, it’s better to meet people than bars or other joints that I know make you uncomfortable.”

Midorima paused to consider Takao’s words.

While Midorima was mostly satisfied with his life, he had to admit, he tended to get lonely. Back when he was still at university, it was easy enough to communicate with the select few who he could actually talk to. But now that he was actually on his own, no class obligations since the years had passed, his apartment felt too quiet for comfort. And it was true- meeting people the “traditional” way was never his strong suit. There was just something unappealing about being in a bar full of half-drunk people, and his prickly personality didn’t help.

As much as it embarrassed him to admit it, Takao had a point.

Seeming to sense his acquiescence, Takao beamed at him.

“I promise you won’t regret it!”

* * *

Midorima regretted it.

Takao had decided to stop by his apartment after the office had closed, insisting that he should help Midorima write his profile. Not the best decision.

“Shin-chan, your description is so bland! You need to spice it up a little. And what’s with that profile picture? You look disgusted.”

Midorima frowned, looking at his profile. Was there something wrong with keeping things simple?

Without prompting, Takao angled Midorima’s laptop towards him and took control. The first thing he did was change Midorima’s profile picture from his post-graduation photo to a snapshot of him when he was at a cousin’s wedding. Midorima had to admit, the picture of him seemed more relaxed (though that might have been because he was slightly inebriated at the time.) Afterward, Takao took a long look at his profile description.

_Midorima Shintarou. 26. Cancer (the zodiac sign, not the illness.) Looking for someone to connect with. Man proposes, god disposes._

Takao clicked his tongue and shook his head. “This won’t work at all. And the whole thing about proposing sounds pretentious.”

“Isn’t that what you accuse me of being on a daily basis?” Midorima said, raising an eyebrow.

“You know I’m just teasing when I say that.” Takao hummed, and started typing. As Midorima shamelessly looked over his shoulder, he briefly thought that perhaps Takao was better at this sort of thing than he thought. After a while, his profile looked more appealing while still retaining some sense of professionalism.

“I’m a bit impressed,” Midorima said after looking over it once again. Takao wore a smug smile.

“See? I know what I’m doing every once in a while. Aren’t you glad I’m here to help you out?” Takao chuckled, and stood up. “Well, I’m going to head back to my place. Tell me if you meet anyone attractive!” He added, and winked before strolling out the door.

Midorima glanced at his laptop. Did he really know what he was getting into?


	3. AoKaga: Rival Band AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably one of my two favorite unfinished drafts.

_[Transcript from MusicMania: Behind the Scenes, episode #43]_

**Interviewer:** So, first things first, how did Meteor Jam form as a band? Was it a group effort?

**Kagami:** It started out with just me and Kuroko, initially. One day I was in the high school band room, I had found one of the guitars-

**Kuroko:** And he was playing rather loudly, I should add. But I heard him playing, and I liked it.

**Kagami:** So he goes up to me and says, “Hey, you’re an awesome guitarist. I play bass in my spare time, do you want to try playing together sometime?”

**Interviewer:** Is that really true?

**Kuroko:** Essentially, yes. We started playing together, but we couldn’t form a band with just the two of us, we needed a drummer too.

**Koganei:** And that’s where me and Mitobe came in!

**Interviewer:** So, how did you two join the band?

**Mitobe:** [vague hand motions]

**Koganei:** That’s right!

**Interviewer:** Um...

**Koganei:** Mitobe and I were helping put away some of the instruments in the band room a few weeks after those two met, and I overheard them talking about how they needed a drummer. Mitobe’s the best man for the job, obviously.

**Interviewer:** And you just offered to join too?

**Koganei:** Well yeah, every good band also needs a keyboardist!

**Izuki:** That’s because the songs wouldn’t be as _sharp_ otherwise!

**Interviewer:** That’s right- Izuki, you’re the band’s primary songwriter, aren’t you?

**Izuki:** That’s me! Of course, Kagami and the others help too. Kagami wouldn’t just sing anything I asked him to, even if my lyrics are works of art.

**Kagami:** That’s debatable.

**Izuki:** You and the managers are both killjoys.

**Interviewer:** Speaking of the managers, you have three, right? Aren’t they also high school friends?

**Kagami:** Yeah, they are. Honestly, it’s kind of weird how well this worked out. We’re all good friends, and it’s just a surreal experience to have all of us together.

**Interviewer:** Do you have any upcoming projects planned out, or are you taking it easy for now?

**Kuroko:** In about a month, we’re planning on participating in Simplicity Songs’ cancer charity show. We believe it would be a good opportunity to help raise awareness and bring in donations to local hospitals.

**Interviewer:** Isn’t it true that your rival band, _The Zone,_ announced last month that they would be playing at the same venue?

**Izuki:** It is true.

**Interviewer:** Do you think the animosity between the bands could cause a problem backstage?

**Kuroko:** Technically it’s not an animosity between the bands. It’s just between Kagami-kun and Aomine-kun. But I don’t think there should be any trouble.

**Interviewer:** Between Kagami and Aomine?

**Kagami:** Don’t get me started.

**Interviewer:** It’s understandable that the lead singers from the country’s two most popular bands would have a sort of rivalry, isn’t it?

**Kuroko:** I personally think it’s just that Kagami-kun is jealous of Aomine-kun’s popularity.

**Kagami:** Oh please, he’s not that hot.

* * *

“Oh god, you’re so fucking hot.”

Kagami let out a grunt as Aomine sucked yet another mark onto his neck, thankfully at an area that could easily be covered with a cleverly-placed shirt collar and some makeup. Aomine glanced up, and pulled away from Kagami’s neck, wiping a stray strand of spit off his lips.

“Tell me about it.”

Kagami’s eyelids fluttered closed as he clutched onto Aomine’s shirt, earning several overly-gentle pats on his cheek.

“I meant it literally. Tell me about how hot I am.”

“Why do I need to inflate your ego more?” Kagami grinned, letting his eyelids open again.

“Because you know it turns me on.” Aomine said simply, reaching a hand down to squeeze Kagami’s ass and earning a yelp in response, “And be quiet, or else the others are gonna hear you.”

Kagami waggled his eyebrows. “What if I want them to hear? It’s not like this is the first time we’ve banged in a dressing room.”

“Yeah, but unlike the other times, this one is shared with the rest of my bandmates. Meaning anyone else could come in, and then we’d be shit outta luck.”

Kagami frowned, then. “How much longer do we have to pretend that we hate each other?”

Aomine pulled away, removing his hands from Kagami’s ass and sliding them up his back in gentle circles. “As long as it takes for the masses to actually accept gay people in the media, I guess.”

“Couldn’t we just say that we started getting along and at least be friends?”

“Nah,” Aomine scoffed, “Imayoshi says that our rivalry is good for publicity.”

“I thought Momoi was your manager,” Kagami said dryly, and thought for a moment. “Wait, does that mean Imayoshi knows about us?”

Aomine shrugged. “I have no idea. If he knows anything about it, he probably hasn’t said anything. As long as I can still play at shows, I don’t think he cares what I get up to.” He paused, and added, “That reminds me- what kind of lame excuse did you give to your bandmates for sneaking off today?”

“I just told them- ngh-” Kagami groaned as Aomine placed a kiss on his jaw, “-that I started feeling jittery and needed to take a breather.”

“And they bought it?” Aomine raised an eyebrow.

“If they didn’t, nobody said anything.”

“I’m tired of talking, let’s at least get to the part where we touch dicks or something before I have to get on the stage.”

Kagami rolled his eyes and sighed in mock-disappointment.

“Whatever you say, aho.”

* * *

_[Transcript from Daily Japan Music interview, June 23rd]_

**Interviewer:** Welcome to the show, it’s a pleasure to have you here.

**Imayoshi:** It’s a pleasure to be here.

**Interviewer:** Let’s get right down to business- You five are arguably part of one of Japan’s hottest bands of the time. Do you feel like there’s any sort of pressure to be the best?

**Susa:** It’s not really a matter of pressure- we know that we’re good, and it’s just a matter of doing what we can to stay at the top.

**Interviewer:** That’s very confident of you to say! Do you think some might see that confidence as arrogance?

**Aomine:** It doesn’t really matter what they think of us- it’s about the music. It always has been.

**Interviewer:** Speaking of, Aomine, it’s been told that you sang an original song at last week’s charity performance- a love song, as a matter of fact.

**Aomine:** I wouldn’t call it a love song.

**Interviewer:** Then what would you call it?

**Sakurai:** Ah, well, we’re testing the waters with some experimental music. Nothing too different, but… sorry!

**Interviewer:** Interesting. What direction do you plan on going in? 

**Wakamatsu:** We’re just trying out whatever comes to mind. Not to spoil the secrets, but we have a few new songs we’ve been working on--

**Imayoshi:** But we’re trying to keep those under wraps. Aren’t we, Wakamatsu?

**Wakamatsu:** Right…


	4. AkaMayu: Youtube Musician AU

__**Mayuyu (15 hours ago)**  
Honestly unimpressed w/ this cover. Too much flair, hardly sounds like the actual song. Dunno why this is 1st result on search, you’re trying too hard.  
**View all 61 replies**

\---

Mayuzumi stared at his computer screen, eyes narrowed.

He had been studying (or rather, procrastinating on) his physics homework the previous night, and decided that he needed background music to help him concentrate. After deciding that his usual music preferences just weren’t cutting it, he began to look for covers of his favorite obscure songs. For one such song, a quick search on YouTube revealed a video featuring some kid- no older than 18, probably- with unnaturally red hair in the thumbnail. Intrigued, Mayuzumi had decided to watch it. After a brief intro, the aforementioned kid had started to play the violin.

It wasn’t as though the guy was bad at playing- he was probably better than anyone Mayuzumi had heard back when he actually cared about classical music- but something about it just left Mayuzumi feeling annoyed.

The obvious thing to do in that situation was to voice his displeasure in the comments section.

It was probably inconsequential; Nobody really paid any attention to him, both online or in real life, so it wasn’t was though he was going to be spotted. Besides, the guy, for some reason, was amassing enough comments on the video already- surely one little diss wouldn’t even register on the radar.

 _And that’s exactly where you fucked up,_ he thought to himself not even a day later.

The next time he had logged on, his account was practically assaulted with notifications- every reply ranging from _“He has more talent than you ever will!!!”_ to _“go fuk urself, u wouldnt kno music if it punched u in the face”._

“Don’t these people have anything to do other than harassing strangers online?” Mayuzumi said out loud, only briefly noting the irony in his words. He frowned, scrolling through the barrage of poorly-worded insults.

One particular comment made him stop.

Directly from the violinist himself.

_**Akashi Seijuro (2 hours ago)**  
Fascinating critique. Since you seem to know more about style than I do, I’d be interested in seeing your interpretation. Always a good opportunity to learn._

Mayuzumi pursed his lips.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered the keyboard he had stored in his bedroom, mostly untouched- a graduation gift from his mother, before he had moved out for school.

It wasn’t a violin. He had no videos on his channel. The only reason he had one was so that he could leave comments and add videos to his favorites list. He’d get even more notifications than it was worth.

_But it’s not like I can let such a passive-aggressive challenge slide._

With something akin to determination setting in, he stood up from his computer desk and searched for his old webcam.

If there was one thing Mayuzumi excelled at, it was being petty.

* * *

_“I don’t usually play, but I could hardly resist such a friendly invitation.”_

_Mayuzumi’s voice was as purposely blank as his expression as he peered back at his webcam. On the inside, he supposed he should feel worried- he hadn’t fussed with his keyboard in several months, and he’d probably be flayed alive if he didn’t play his cards right- but the need to be spiteful came before fear._

_(At least, that’s what he told himself.)_

_He had agonized over which sheet music to use for his response to the red-haired kid’s thinly-veiled challenge, but none of the results were satisfactory, so eventually he decided to jot down his own. If only his professors could see how he put his mind to his work when motivated._

_Carefully, he turned on the keyboard, fixed the settings, and began to dance his fingers across the keys._

_“Satisfied?”_

* * *

Mayuzumi wasn’t sure what he should have expected after the video was uploaded.

Maybe smoke and flames, or a drive-by shooting. Or maybe even nothing at all. What he didn’t expect was to wake up three days later, only to find that he had gained several hundred- hundred!- subscribers, amongst a mass of comments on the only video he had uploaded onto his six-year-old channel.

“What the actual fuck.”

Searching through the comments (because honestly, Mayuzumi didn’t have many other productive things to do during his spare time in the morning,) he determined that most of the people who were now following his activity didn’t actually care for his cover at all- which wasn’t too surprising- but in something else entirely.

__**KousuWaka (21 hours ago)**  
inb4 Seijuro fans go nuts and tear this guy apart  
**Hide replies**

_**7susa (20 hours ago) (edited)**  
People really need to stop taking youtube so seriously._

_**ImNotAYoshi (20 hours ago)**  
+7susa You must be new here. _ ****

_**SGmangaka (19 hours ago)**  
Well, he wrote a nasty comment on one of the most famous violin cover artists’ videos and then sassed him back by making a video response… that’s going to garner hate, right?_

_**7susa (19 hours ago) (edited)**  
+SGmangaka I’m pretty sure half of the people subscribing to this guy now are just in it for the drama._

Mayuzumi ran his fingers through his hair- it was far too early for this kind of shit, and he would need at least two cups of coffee before he could muster up a reaction.

* * *

Two macchiatos later (because Mayuzumi was classy like that) he returned to his apartment, and checked the clock- 11:37. Still early, but he could finally bring himself to think about what he’d done.


	5. GoM/Kagami (or gen): Epistolary

**Ktetsuya** has added **10TAI to** _“Please stop renaming the group.”_

**One Million Screaming Bees:** aw tetsu whyd you invite this guy

**10TAI:** What’s going on

**(◕◡◕✿):** Kurokocchi!!!!! You didn’t tell me you were gonna invite Kagamicchi!!!!!

**(◕◡◕✿):** Quick everyone change your names to something cute like I did!

**Midorima Shintarou:** No.

**(◕◡◕✿):** Don’t be such a spoilsport.

**AS:** Welcome, Kagami.

**One Million Screaming Bees:** yea welcome to hell

**10TAI:** Kuroko i swear if you put me in this group chat just to talk to your miracle buddies

**One Million Screaming Bees** has renamed the group to _“welcome to hell”_

**Satsuki♡:** Dai-chan, stop!

**AS:** Aomine, stop.

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls:** mine-chin don’t stop,

**Ktetsuya:** I’m beginning to wonder if this was a bad idea after all.

**10TAI:** Yeah no shit

Midorima Shintarou: Escape while you can.

**One Million Screaming Bees:** one of us

**10TAI:** At least with you guys i dont even need to ask who has what name

**10TAI:** Why is this even a group anyway

**AS:** Is it that unusual to have a group of friends continue to communicate through the internet?

**One Million Screaming Bees:** one of us

**10TAI:** I guess not since you all live in different areas

**10TAI:** Still i think its kinda weird with all the different personalities

**10TAI:** Also its hard for me to handle one or two of you guys alone

**10TAI:** I dont know how i can handle all of you at once

**One Million Screaming Bees:** ONE OF US

**Ktetsuya:** While I understand your hesitance, I’d prefer it if you tried to at least be tolerant of my friends, Kagami-kun.

**One Million Screaming Bees** has renamed the group to _“ONE OF US”_

**Midorima Shintarou:** Tolerance might be too much to ask for at the moment.

**(◕◡◕✿):** Why didn’t any of you guys change your names?????

**Satsuki♡:** My name already has a heart next to it, Ki-chan.

**(◕◡◕✿):** And I appreciate that~

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls:** kaga-chin should see what the group is like on quiet days,

**AS:** That’s a wise idea.

**Midorima Shintarou:** Surprisingly enough.

**10TAI:** Im going to regret this arent i

**Ktetsuya:** Possibly.

* * *

**One Million Screaming Bees** has changed their name to **“Midorima Shintarou”**

**Midorima Shintarou:** Aomine, what do you think you’re doing?

**Midorima Shintarou:** im not aomine im midorima

**Midorima Shintarou:** This isn’t funny.

**Midorima Shintarou:** yea it is

**Midorima Shintarou:** im surprised i didnt think about doing this earlier

**Midorima Shintarou:** Somebody, please back me up.

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls** has changed their name to **“Midorima Shintarou”**

**Midorima Shintarou:** You’re both terrible.

**Midorima Shintarou:** how could you say that about your own self,

**Midorima Shintarou:** yea midorima how rude u should respect urself

**(◕◡◕✿)** has changed their name to **“Midorima Shintarou”**

**Satsuki♡** has changed their name to **“Midorima Shintarou”**

**Ktetsuya** has changed their name to **“Midorima Shintarou” ******

**Midorima Shintarou:** . . . W H Y.

**Midorima Shintarou:** Akashi, for the love of all that’s good in the world, do something.

**AS:** If you insist.

**AS** has changed their name to **“Midorima Shintarou”**

**Midorima Shintarou:** now its a party

**Midorima Shintarou:** I have to say, this is more entertaining than I thought it would be.

**Midorima Shintarou:** Now I’m Midorimacchi too!!!!!

**Midorima Shintarou:** This is a nightmare. I’m not awake. I’m dreaming and this will all go away if I open my eyes right now.

**Midorima Shintarou:** It’s not that bad, Midorima. There’s no need for melodramatics.

**10TAI:** Ok what the hell is going on now

**Midorima Shintarou:** Kagami-kun appears to be in a state of constant confusion lately.

**Midorima Shintarou:** i have crumbs in my keyboard,

**Midorima Shintarou:** That would be solved if you didn’t eat while studying.

**Midorima Shintarou:** sfdhirejlr;l4;33w3

**Midorima Shintarou:** Hi Kagamin!

**Midorima Shintarou:** How are you doing today?????

**Midorima Shintarou:** Please help.

**10TAI:** Uh

**Midorima Shintarou** has changed their name to **“THE REAL MIDORIMA SHINTAROU”**

**THE REAL MIDORIMA SHINTAROU:** There, much better.

**Midorima Shintarou** has changed their name to **“10TAI”**

**10TAI:** hey kagami guess what

**10TAI:** Okay that needs to stop

**THE REAL MIDORIMA SHINTAROU:** Good luck.

* * *

**10TAI:** So uh

**10TAI:** Just asking

**10TAI:** What do you do when a girl asks you out in the courtyard and you run away in panic and hide in a broom closet and accidentally get locked in

**Ktetsuya:** Is that why you didn’t show up to class after lunch?

**10TAI:** Maybe

**(◕◡◕✿):** Ooh, Kagamicchi is becoming popular~

**10TAI:** I dont want to be popular if this happens

**10TAI:** In case you havent noticed im not really good at talking to girls

**One Million Screaming Bees:** ur not good at talking to anyone

**(◕◡◕✿):** Rude.

**10TAI:** No seriously though how do i get out of this closet

**Ktetsuya:** Which floor are you on?

**10TAI:** Second floor

**Ktestuya:** I’ll be there in five minutes.

**One Million Screaming Bees:** kagami im gonna be blunt here

**One Million Screaming Bees:** i dont think anyone in this group is good @ talking to girls

**(◕◡◕✿):** Ahem!!!!!

**One Million Screaming Bees:** kise doesnt count b/c hes not even into girls

**(◕◡◕✿):** That’s just your assumption.

**One Million Screaming Bees:** but am i wrong

**One Million Screaming Bees:** pretty sure u got a pretty big boner for tetsu

**(◕◡◕✿):** Not important~

**10TAI:** FREEDOM

**One Million Screaming Bees:** congrats on coming out of the closet

**Ktetsuya:** How long have you been waiting to make that joke?

**10TAI:** Im pretty sure i hate you all right now

* * *

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls:** kaga-chin,

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls:** muro-chin says you havent been calling him,

**10TAI:** What does he need me for

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls:** he wants to know if he can visit you for your birthday,

**10TAI:** If he can find my apartment this time then tell him to go ahead

**10TAI:** But why so suddenly

**10TAI:** He didnt ask to visit me on my birthday last year

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls:** hes going to graduate this year and he says he feels bad for not talking to you more,

**10TAI:** ...Oh

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls:** must be nice to have him as a brother,

**10TAI:** You jealous or something

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls:** no, but hes planning on getting candy from america as a birthday gift,

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls:** dont tell him i told you though,

**10TAI:** Well tell him im looking forward to it

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls:** you can tell him yourself later,

* * *

**AS:** Midorima, it’s your move.

**AS:** The game is going to expire if you don’t move a piece within the hour.

**AS:** You don’t want me to capture any more of your pieces, do you?

**Midorima Shintarou:** sorry akashi, shin-chan’s a little busy right now!

**AS:** Is it wrong to assume that this is Takao talking?

**Midorima Shintarou:** Not anymore, it isn’t.

**Midorima Shintarou:** Takao took my phone while I was in the restroom.

**Midorima Shintarou:** You’d think he would have learned some manners by this po(fuee$nAAT

**Midorima Shintarou:** shin-chan is being mean!

**AS:** Takao, give Midorima his phone back.

**AS:** And tell him that I’d prefer to finish our round of online shogi at some point this century.

**Midorima Shintarou:** fine, fine.

**Midorima Shintarou:** even when you’re back to “normal” you’re still sort of scary.

**AS:** I’ll pretend that was a compliment.

* * *

**Today is 10TAI’s birthday! Send them happy wishes!**

**(◕◡◕✿):** Happy birthday Kagamicchi!!!!!

**Ktetsuya:** Happy birthday, Kagami-kun.

**One Million Screaming Bees:** happy bday bakagami

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls:** happy birthday,

**Midorima Shintarou:** I suppose I should send my best birthday wishes too.

**AS:** Congratulations on another year, Kagami.

**Satsuki♡:** Happy birthday!

**10TAI:** Thanks guys

**(◕◡◕✿):** So what does the birthday boy want today?~

**10TAI:** I dont think i really want anything today other than maybe a game or two of basketball

**(◕◡◕✿):** Oh boo, that’s boring!!!!!

**10TAI:** Well what would you want on your birthday

**(◕◡◕✿):** Since you asked so nicely, I’ll tell you!

**One Million Screaming Bees:** i dont think he really wanted to know

**AS:** I would have sent an appropriate gift if I had been aware that your birthday was so soon.

**Ktetsuya:** I’m fairly certain the team is going to treat Kagami-kun to an okonomiyaki meal.

**Midorima Shintarou:** Let’s hope they don’t bleed the establishment dry of food.

**10TAI:** Nah i was given a four serving limit

**10TAI:** Which sucks but i guess its okay to spend the day with my teammates and friends

**Ktetsuya:** Lunch time is almost over, Kagami-kun. We can talk more after practice.

**Atsushi’s sushi rolls:** dont forget that muro-chin is going to your place later,

* * *

**10TAI:** Ive been meaning to ask

**10TAI:** Aomine

**10TAI:** Why is your name one million screaming bees if youre afraid of bees

**One Million Screaming Bees:** b/c i want the bees to die screaming

**AS:** Bees are a valuable part of the ecosystem, Aomine. They provide the most pollination for plants and are usually harmless.

**One Million Screaming Bees:** bees are murderous and ill fight anyone who says theyre not

**Midorima Shintarou:** https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_giant_hornet

**Midorima Shintarou:** “Each year in Japan, the human death toll caused by Asian giant hornet stings is around 30 to 40.”

**One Million Screaming Bees:** W H A T T H E F U C K

**One Million Screaming Bees:** IM NOT OKAY RIGHT NOW

**AS:** Midorima, those are hornets, not bees.

**Midorima Shintarou:** I know.

**One Million Screaming Bees:** WHY DO THOSE THINGS LIVE AROUND HERE

**AS:** You’re positively evil.

**Midorima Shintarou:** Thank you.

**10TAI:** …

* * *

**Satsuki♡:** Dai-chan, why are you online? You’re supposed to be getting rest!

**(◕◡◕✿):** Is Aominecchi sick?????

**One Million Screaming Bees:** no

**Satsuki♡:** Yes.

**One Million Screaming Bees:** arent u the one who always tells me idiots dont get sick

**One Million Screaming Bees:** besides shouldnt u be in class right now

**Satsuki♡:** I got permission to check up on you. I’m also bringing over your homework.

**One Million Screaming Bees:** dammit

**(◕◡◕✿):** Poor Aominecchi!!!!!

* * *

**(◕◡◕✿):** Kurokocchi~

**(◕◡◕✿):** It looks like we’re the only ones online right now!!!!!

**Ktetsuya:** That’s because it’s nearly 3 in the morning, Kise-kun.


	6. MidoTaka: Post-Canon (University AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once tried to actually publish this, but real life got in the way so I decided it would be better to delete it.

_Dear Kazutaka,_

_To be succinct, I find myself feeling odd around a particular friend of mine, and I am unsure of what it means. We have known each other since high school, and continue to talk on campus to this day. I feel compelled to initiate physical contact more often than before, and I find myself wanting to respond to their teasing. It feels almost uncomfortable to think about. What do you suppose this might be? And is there any way to stop it?_

_Sincerely,_

_It’s Not Easy Being Green._

* * *

Takao stared at the email, perplexed.

It had only been two months since he had joined the university’s weekly newspaper committee. The group had been woefully unsuccessful in garnering student interest, and considering that most of his classes were electives (meaning he had more free time than he expected,) he had decided to help out on a whim; It was a paying job, and hey, easy money, right? Of course, journalism wasn’t exactly his strong suit, and upon actually reading an issue of the paper, he had found himself bored to tears. Jokingly, he had offered to make an advice column for students to submit problems to, just to spice things up. To his surprise, the rest of the staff agreed.

And so, somehow, he found himself running a column in the school paper, which was rapidly growing in popularity. The editor (a fellow student named Kojima) had called him “relatable and likable,” and apparently he was better at giving advice than he’d initially thought. Operating under the pen name Kazutaka to maintain a sense of anonymity, he’d become a source of interest for students on campus. He’d even been given a personal email linked to the school website to take requests, and he found his inbox giving him notifications more and more frequently as time passed.

But he had never gotten an email like this.

The wording seemed incredibly stilted and overly-formal, and the subject matter was even more bizarre. Takao read over the email once more, squinting at his laptop as he laid on his bed. It was getting late, but he was too curious about the message. If he didn’t know any better, he’d swear that the way it was written was familiar.

For a brief moment, he entertained the thought that the sender might have been Midorima. The writing style was eerily similar, and writing to an advice column about… well, anything, actually, seemed like something he would do. But then he remembered that aside from the rest of Shuutoku’s former teammates and the rest of the weirdos from Teiko, Midorima didn’t have too many friends, if any. In fact, Takao was probably one of the only people he was genuinely close to, and thinking about anything further than that was a dangerous path that Takao didn’t feel like going down.

Eventually, he decided that figuring out the sender would have to wait. Not only was it pointless- the messages were anonymously submitted through the school website, meaning that tracking down the sender would be virtually impossible- but he needed to write the response before the following morning so he could include it in his column.

_Well,_ he thought to himself, _I might as well take a stab at it._

* * *

_Dear It’s Not Easy Being Green,_

_I happen to have a pretty good feeling of what your problem is, if it even is a problem- you have all the classic symptoms of a crush! There’s nothing wrong with having one, so I don’t know why you’d want to get rid of it. Congratulations on your emotional discovery!_

_Best of luck to you,_

_Kazutaka._

* * *

Two days after Takao had presented the latest article for his column, the paper was printed.

Takao was rather pleased with himself; Kojima had complimented him on his dutifulness, and mentioned how much revenue the university was making now that the paper had gained popularity.

“Considering the size of this campus, you’re practically a miracle worker- I bet at least every other student has been buying copies!”

Takao grinned as he leaned against one of the office’s filing cabinets.

“Don’t you think you’re exaggerating just a bit?”

Kojima laughed, taking one of the archive papers and lightly whacking Takao on the head with it.

“Maybe, but you’re also underestimating yourself. We’d still be making pennies if you hadn’t come along.”

Takao smirked, thinking of his next paycheck, and stood up straight to head for the door. His anatomy class would be starting shortly, and he needed to get going.

He arrived to the lecture hall roughly four minutes before class started, meaning he had time to mingle for a bit. It was one of his favorite classes, if only because he got to share it with Midorima. As much as they texted (rather, as much as Takao texted Midorima, with varying levels of exasperation in response) and as often as they tried to play streetball with each other, they weren’t able to talk to each other face-to-face as frequently as they had back in high school- a fact that saddened him, considering how close he liked to think they were.

Right as he was about to take a seat next to Midorima, he glanced at the messenger bag that was sitting on the table, and noticed what appeared to be a small stack of papers sticking out of it. Curious, he unzipped the bag, ignoring the offended noise Midorima made, and looked inside.

“Wow Shin-chan, I didn’t know you read the school newspaper!”

Midorima frowned and snatched the bag back out of Takao’s grip.

“A warm ‘hello’ to you too.”

Takao pulled out the chair next to Midorima and seated himself, then placed his chin on his hand with a confident smile.

“You know, I’m actually on the newspaper staff.”

“So you’ve mentioned before,” Midorima said, removing a pen from his bag and idly clicking the top. “But you’ve never told me what position you hold.”

“I’m glad that you care to ask, but I’m afraid it’s a secret,” Takao teased in a singsong voice, causing Midorima to purse his lips. Ignoring his friend’s huffy mood, Takao continued, “So what’s your favorite part about it? Is it the sports section? The comics? The advice column?”

“Sports and current events, obviously. Comics don’t hold my interest, and the advice column is…” Midorima trailed off, and shook his head. Takao raised an eyebrow.

“The advice column is… what?”

“Absurd.”

Takao frowned, mostly for the blow to his ego.

“What makes you think that?”

Unfortunately, Takao didn’t receive an answer to his question, as the professor strode into the classroom at that moment. Midorima seemed intent on focusing on the lesson and notes, meaning the end of that discussion. By the time the lecture had ended, Takao was so preoccupied with trying to figure out how he’d manage his reading assignment and several online quizzes all in one night that he completely forgot about their talk.

At least, until he got another email.

* * *

_Dear Kazutaka,_

_Unfortunately, your well-wishes are unwarranted. If I truly do have a crush as you say- which is unlikely, as I’ve never had one before, and do not intend on having one now- it is most certainly unrequited. Thus, I have no need for these strange feelings, and I would prefer to have my original question answered, i.e. how I can rid myself of them._

_Hoping for a timely reply,_

_It’s Not Easy Being Green._

* * *

After working on his coursework (and stopping halfway to procrastinate,) Takao was confronted with a second message from his mysterious sender, this one even stranger than the last.

Takao read and reread the message, each time feeling more and more conflicted. On the one hand, he felt as though it was his duty to offer his advice again; The poor sucker had never had a crush before, and was obviously in denial of it for some reason or another, and Takao refused to let that slide.

On the other hand, he felt somewhat miffed that his advice had been so quickly shot down (and in such a passive-aggressive way, too.)

He was still mulling over how to respond several hours later, after he had finished the assignments- let nobody say that Takao Kazunari was never productive.

* * *

_Dear It’s Not Easy Being Green,_

_Denial doesn’t suit you. You can’t get rid of feelings so easily- believe me, I’ve tried. And hey, you’ll never know what will happen if you tell your crush how you feel, so why not go for it? I’m sure if they’ve been talking to you since high school, things will work out. You can thank me later ;)_

_Best of luck to you (again,)_

_Kazutaka._

* * *

“Are you sure you want to include this one in the advice column?” Kojima asked, looking at Takao’s submissions, “It doesn’t look like it would fit very well with the rest of your entries.”

Takao hummed as he tried balancing a pencil on his palm.

“Well, it’s my job to respond to people who need help, right? And besides, I’d feel a little bad if I didn’t respond to whoever this person was. Whoever they are, they took the time to write another letter to me, and it’s the least I can do.”

Kojima glanced at Takao skeptically.


	7. MayuKuro: Library AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is posted from Akashi's POV

Working a part-time job at the university’s library had its perks, especially for a student like Akashi Seijuro. It offered him space to study after his morning classes, the hours were flexible, and he wasn’t really needed for anything too terribly important (aside from shelving books and sending out overdue notices) so it was essentially easy money.

But perhaps his favorite perk of working at the library was getting to watch and analyze the people who frequented it.

For example, there was a pair of upperclassmen- one with long black hair and square-framed glasses, another with oddly-shaped eyebrows and a smile that could send chills up a lesser man’s spine- who were surprisingly studious. From what Akashi had gathered, the two were a year apart, and were constantly trying to one-up each other. He supposed that included academic merits, especially as the older one chastised the younger for losing his cool in an argument about theoretical physics.

Another good example was the blonde who occasionally came into the library to hide. Akashi had seen his face on the cover of a “Zunon Boy” magazine that had been on display and recognized him as Kise Ryouta, and had earned the model’s favor by offering a safe space to hide from a particularly handsy fangirl. Kise made a habit of coming back after that incident, and Akashi quickly had him pegged as a chatterbox.

There was also a boy with two-toned red hair who struggled with his studies more often than not, and Akashi occasionally liked to eavesdrop on his (rather loud) phone calls with his brother, which were always interspersed with bits of English and plenty of laughter. It was almost heartwarming at times.

But, by far, his favorite set of people to observe were the two who went unnoticed by everyone else.

Subject A: Kuroko Tetsuya.

Akashi had conversed with him a few times, as they shared a foreign literature class during their previous semester. Kuroko visited the library more often than almost anyone of the other regulars, and Akashi would occasionally chat with him as Kuroko looked through all the genres. He read anything and everything from historical novels to traditional poetry and everything in between. Akashi occasionally wondered how Kuroko managed to juggle all of his reading with his schoolwork and other responsibilities, but whenever he asked, Kuroko merely dodged the question. Kuroko also had a tendency to “disappear”- that is, he was good at catching Akashi off-guard and moving from place to place without being noticed. He had a surprising amount of sass, a succinct and polite way of speaking, and Akashi might have found him charming if they both weren’t already invested in other people.

Which brought him to Subject B: Mayuzumi Chihiro.

Mayuzumi had been a regular at the library for as long as Akashi could remember, though his book selections rarely changed; He would occasionally stop by the graphic design periodicals or art magazines (and grimace and mutter, for reasons unknown to Akashi- something about “not appreciating alternative art”), or browse through the promotional materials set out every week, but other than that, he usually just brought in his laptop to do homework and surf the web. His personality, from the few times Akashi had interacted with him, seemed to be… aloof. His eyes had a sort of dullness to them, and his overall demeanor gave off the “I really don’t care about what you have to say” vibe with a surprising intensity. Aside from the occasional wry comment or humorous remark, Mayuzumi usually kept to himself, almost innocuous. Almost.

The interesting thing about the two, Kuroko and Mayuzumi, was their interactions.

Akashi wasn’t sure what their relationship was; They addressed each other formally, though that meant that they knew each other somehow. They rarely spoke, and the few times Akashi could hear them talk, it was as though there was a tension in the air. They spoke in short sentences to each other, sometimes about mundane things like the weather, or occasionally to argue about Mayuzumi’s writing habits, and they always seemed strained to talk civilly. Akashi would have assumed that they were enemies, except for the fact that they tended to gravitate towards each other, often sitting at separate yet nearby tables- close, but not too close.

That, and the fact that they were _constantly_ eyefucking each other.

Honestly. It was a little annoying.

And that annoyance had, over the course of the semester, built up within Akashi, to the point where his nosiness made him itching to do something about it.

“Are you watching those two again?”

Akashi was startled out of his thoughts when his green-haired coworker addressed him, exasperated.

“Really, Midorima,” Akashi murmured back in response, “You shouldn’t sneak up behind people. It’s rude.”

“It’s also rude to involve oneself in other peoples’ private business,” Midorima said, raising an eyebrow.

“They’re in a public library, and they’re not exactly quiet. Is it really my fault if they make their issues with each other known?” Akashi responded with a challenging smile.

Midorima appeared to mentally weigh his options, frowned, and looked away.

“I suppose not.”

“Plus, the blatant way that they mentally undress each other could cause problems in the future.”

Midorima’s eyes widened as his gaze snapped back to Akashi, scandalized.

“Akashi!”

Akashi chuckled, his shoulders shaking lightly.

“Relax, I’m sure nothing will come of it… yet.”

Midorima looked queasy, so Akashi took pity on him.

“Why don’t you check the computers? I believe someone forgot to log out of their library account before leaving, and it would be a shame if someone else accessed it.” He said, giving Midorima a fond smile.

Midorima nodded, twirling the small cat keychain (his lucky item for the day) on his finger as he left. Akashi took the moment to appreciate his rear.

_Well,_ he thought to himself, _Maybe Kuroko and Mayuzumi aren’t the only ones with unresolved issues._

* * *

The first matter of business to take care of was figuring out how Akashi and Kuroko knew each other. Logically, figuring out the relationship between the two would make getting them together an easy task. Wrangling the information out of them, however, was a different story.

His first opportunity arose when he spotted Kuroko and Mayuzumi having a not-so-pleasant chat on an otherwise uneventful Wednesday afternoon.

“Mayuzumi-san, I don’t think any amount of quietly swearing at your laptop is going to recover your files,” Kuroko said, “And you’re disrupting my studies. I would greatly appreciate if you could be a bit more quiet.”

“Unless you’re able to help me get back my twelve-page paper due tomorrow night, I could live without the lecture. Thanks.”

Akashi decided to take his chance and approach the two.

“Is there something I can help you two with? It’s getting a bit loud in here.”

It wasn’t, not really, but the pair had the decency to look somewhat chastised.

“If you’re having laptop troubles, I’d recommend going to campus tech and having them take a look at it,” Akashi suggested, looking at Mayuzumi.

Mayuzumi nodded, and began to pack up his belongings. After he had finished, he stood up with a heavy sigh, and made his way through the doors.

“Is he always so…” Akashi started, and trailed off.

“Brusque? I’m afraid so,” Kuroko finished.

“I apologize for butting into your conversation,” Akashi half-lied, “But your friend seemed upset.”

Kuroko pursed his lips.

“I’m afraid he’s not quite a friend.”

_Bingo._

“Oh?” Akashi continued, “But I do see you two chatting more often than not. Though, I suppose I’m not an expert on intrapersonal relationships.”

Kuroko hummed in response.

“You enjoy people-watching, don’t you, Akashi-kun?” He asked with a smile, which threw Akashi off balance. “I’m not one to blame, considering I do as well.”

Akashi supposed he should have expected that- though he hadn’t paid much attention to Kuroko when they shared their previous class, he just assumed that the blue-haired student had a fondness for spacing out during the lectures. It didn’t occur to him that they were similar.

“You’re not wrong,” Akashi conceded, “It’s one of the things I enjoy about working here. There are always interesting people. Including you and Mayuzumi-san.”

Kuroko’s amusement faded away.

“With all due respect, I’m afraid that Mayuzumi-san and I have no involvement with each other beyond distaste, so there’s no point in trying to pick apart our dynamic.”

Akashi looked at Kuroko, who was looking away. The tips of his ears might have been pink, but it was hard to tell with all of the blue hair obscuring them.

_You’re lying,_ he wanted to say, but didn’t.

“I also believe that Midorima-kun requires your assistance,” Kuroko said, a small but sly smile forming on his face, “And I wouldn’t want to interrupt your work.”

Akashi nodded and walked away, pointedly trying to avoid the heat that threatened to creep up into his cheeks.

* * *

The very next day found Akashi working his shift in the morning.

Much to his surprise, Mayuzumi came into the library early, toting his laptop and glancing around the area. Kuroko wasn’t there that morning, so Akashi decided it would be a good opportunity to continue his investigation.

“Are you trying to play matchmaker?” Midorima asked, stopping Akashi’s thoughts as he considered approaching Mayuzumi.

“Perhaps,” Akashi answered, and left it at that.

“I’m not in any place to control your actions, but you may want to consider the consequences,” Midorima said in a tone of voice that suggested he was uncomfortable with giving any sort of advice in regards to feelings.

“Are you concerned for their feelings? I must admit, I’m surprised,” Akashi teased, savoring the way that Midorima squirmed.

“I’m merely looking out for you,” Midorima said, unaware of the effect his words had on Akashi, “As it would be unfortunate if your position at the library was compromised due to excessive distraction.”

“So you would miss me?” Akashi pressed, keeping his voice neutral.

“You are a valued companion,” Midorima said, and walked away.

In the midst of their conversation, Akashi had almost missed Mayuzumi’s resigned look as he attempted to exit the library. Akashi caught him just in time.

“Mayuzumi-san.”

Mayuzumi stopped walking, and turned to look at Akashi.

“Oh, it’s you,” He said in an odd tone of voice. “How did you know my name?”

“I’ve heard Kuroko mention you a few times,” Akashi answered, searching Mayuzumi’s expression for any emotion.

“You have,” Mayuzumi said blankly.

“Yes, I have. Did you manage to recover your files?” Akashi asked innocently.

Mayuzumi frowned and glanced at his laptop bag.

“I did.”

Akashi took the initiative.

“I’m glad to hear that. Kuroko seemed concerned about you after you left yesterday.”

Mayuzumi furrowed his brows.

“Really?”

_Hook, line, and sinker._

“Yes. We talked briefly yesterday, though he was frowning most of the time.”

It wasn’t technically a lie.

Mayuzumi looked at Akashi quizically.

“We’re not friends, if that’s what you think.”

Akashi hummed.

“Of course I don’t think you’re friends,” He said, eyes gleaming with amusement, “But I do believe there’s something there. You two always give each other such odd looks, I wonder what they could possibly mean.”

Mayuzumi didn’t answer, but Akashi considered it a success nonetheless.


	8. Gen: Kagami adopts a kitten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is really short, but I liked it enough to think it was worth posting anyway.

It was so cliche. It was so fucking cliche. The whole “bad-boy adopts a cat” trope? Kagami wanted to refuse to let that happen to him.

But, as always, life had another plan for him.

It happened a little something like this: Kagami had been walking around the roads near his apartment complex in the middle of the night- not for anything shady, but he had been trying to catch a clefairy in Pokemon GO, and hey, Riko would say he needed the exercise anyway, right?

It was then that he heard a fragile sounding mew, just barely audible.

At first, the sound didn’t seem real, and he thought it was part of his imagination. But then, slightly louder, he heard the mew again. A quick investigation around the area revealed nothing- until Kagami turned the corner, and he saw it: A tiny, chestnut-brown puffball with whiskers, looking lost and cold.

Well, damn.

He stooped down a bit, trying to look at the tiny little creature. It didn’t seem put off by Kagami’s face (which Kuroko would agree could be scary,) but it did look up at him with tiny, hopeful eyes, and another pathetic noise. There were several seconds of silence.

“No.”

Kagami bluntly spoke, more to himself than the kitten. “I’m not adopting you. I don’t have any money to take care of you. You’re not going to guilt-trip me.”

It was more like he was trying to convince himself that it was a bad idea; He probably sounded like an idiot, talking to a tiny baby cat (and himself) on the side of the road in the middle of the night.

The kitten sneezed, and something uncomfortable tugged at his heartstrings.

“...I can’t believe I’m actually going to adopt a kitten.”


	9. KagaKise: Cupid AU

It all started with a trip to the antique store.

Kagami wasn’t usually one for buying knick-knacks, but upon graduating high school and preparing for university, he had been “persuaded” (read as: coerced) to do so.

Himuro, his brother-by-choice, had made the trip all the way from Akita to congratulate him on successfully passing all of his classes. After spending the last three days at Kagami’s apartment, for the final part of his congratulations, Kagami was offered a trip to the shopping district.

_“Buy whatever you want, Taiga. My treat.”_

Now how could Kagami refuse a deal like that?

After practically bleeding Himuro’s wallet dry from food, clothing, supplies, and more food, the two were almost ready to leave. At least, until Himuro spotted a small corner shop, unassuming from the outside- but decked out with all sorts of weird paraphernalia from toys to books to decorations on the inside from the window view.

“You’re not seriously thinking of stopping in an antique store, are you?” Kagami asked when he saw the sign.

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Himuro pressed, “We can find something neat for your apartment.”

Kagami looked at him skeptically.

“You know these places are probably cursed, right? I’m gonna find some book of spells or a haunted doll or something, aren’t I?”

Himuro then proceeded to cough, and subtly cluck like a chicken.

“Fine, I’ll go. But you’re coming with me.”

The inside of the antique shop was practically crowded with all sorts of old this-and-that. Kagami was sure that some of the prices on the products and furniture had to have been heavily raised (Over fifty-thousand yen for a lamp?! Thanks, but no.) At the very least, it didn’t seem like there were any haunted dolls. Small victories, he guessed.

Eventually, Himuro and Kagami both got tired of looking at all the oddities, and decided to go home. They were both nearly out the door, when Kagami spotted a basket full of small paper envelopes by the entryway. He glanced at the person running the register, then to the basket.

“What are these?”

The person running the register- Midorima-san, according to the name tag, though he couldn't have been much older than Kagami… and what was with that green hair?- looked at him with disinterest.

“Charms. Buy one and open it, there’ll be a small fortune inside.”

Kagami looked at Himuro, shrugged, and picked one out of the basket. Himuro did the same, and dramatically drew his own before he paid. Without waiting to exit the store, Himuro opened his own, and read the small slip of paper on the inside.

“Peace and humanity,” he read aloud, and furrowed his brows. “That’s a little boring. What does yours say, Taiga?”

Taiga opened the envelope, and immediately grimaced.

“Passionate love.”

Himuro let out a soft laugh, and even Midorima couldn’t resist snorting in amusement. 

It wasn’t the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to Kagami, but Himuro’s laughter in particular made him feel red around the ears.

“Come on,” Himuro said after a few more moments of mirth, “Let’s get out of here. It’s getting a little late, and my train is due in a couple hours.”

* * *

After bidding a totally-not-tearful goodbye to Himuro and a promise to text each other the next morning, Kagami found himself practically dragging along the massive amount of bags left from the shopping trip. He only found relief when he managed to make it back to his apartment (which was blessedly not too far away from the station,) and when he finally passed through the threshold into his apartment, he let out a sigh. With not much more than dinner and sleep on his mind, Kagami set down the bags, only to notice a slip of paper fluttering out of one. He picked it up and glanced at it.

Oh, yeah, the charm.

Slightly annoyed, he decided to rip in in half and throw it in the trash. Which would have gone nicely, if he hadn’t gotten a massive papercut. He dropped the charm and winced, then immediately opened his eyes when he smelled… smoke?

A quick look down revealed that the charm _was now on fire._

Charms weren’t supposed to do that, were they?

Slowly, the fire spread, with Kagami too surprised (and okay, definitely confused) to do much more than watch as the flame created a circular pattern around the charm. The floor within the pattern seemed to distort, until out of the distortion rose a tall figure with golden eyes that watched Kagami intently.

And that’s all that Kagami could remember before blacking out.

* * *

Kagami woke up several minutes later, to the feeling of soft hands patting his cheek (in a not-so-soft manner) and a voice repeatedly saying “Come on, wake up. I’m not good at dealing with people who faint.”

Kagami slowly opened his eyes, sat up, and found himself face-to-face with… someone.

This “someone”, upon closer inspection, was a blonde-haired male, who wore a smile on his face… and nothing on his body.

“Huh?” Kagami blurted.

“You’re not very articulate are you?” The figure said, leaning back from where he was perched on top of Kagami’s lap.

“Who are you and why aren’t you wearing any clothes?!”

The figure blinked, and laughed lightly. It sounded… pretty.

“That’s what you’re worried about? My lack of clothes? Not the fact that I suddenly appeared from a flaming talisman in your apartment?”

Kagami blinked.

“Well… that too.”

A pause.

“Wait, talisman?” Kagami asked, confused (and pointedly trying to avoid the other male’s nudity) “So… that charm really was magic?”

“Yup!” The man said cheerfully, “I was trapped in that thing for a pretty long time before you activated it and brought me out.”

Seeing Kagami’s confusion, the man(?) continued, “It was a punishment of sorts. I was misbehaving too much in the other world so I was locked into a charm and sent to earth. The charm only activates when blood spills on it- which I think is cliche, but it’s a tradition I guess- and now I’m here to perform my duties so I can go back home.”

Kagami raised an eyebrow.

“Your duties?”

The figure nodded.

“I’m sort of a… well, I guess the closest term you humans have is ‘cupid’. I’m supposed to help you fall in love.”

Kagami had to be dreaming at that point. He pinched his arm just to be sure. Nope, nothing. He frowned at the figure, who watched him curiously. Kagami’s eyes wandered, trying to take in the full picture.

“Uh. Can you put on some clothes first?”

* * *

After the two went to Kagami’s bedroom, and the figure was clothed in a pair of Kagami’s old sweatpants and an even older t-shirt, Kagami felt able to relax just a bit more.

“So. First things first,” he said in what he hoped was an authoritative tone, “Since you’re not allowed to go back to wherever you came from-”

“The other world-”

“-until you’re done with your duty, and since you’re supposed to help me find love or whatever, I guess you’re going to stay here.”

The figure nodded, seemingly okay with the idea.

“Also… you’re going to need a name.”

(It would be better than referring to the figure as “the weird guy who came out of the floor”, at least.)

The figure hummed in thought, looking around the room. There wasn’t much decoration, aside from a few pictures on frames and a small stack of sports magazines. He picked one up, and rifled through the pages, stopping on one.

“How about Ryouta?”

Kagami peered over the man’s shoulder, looking at the magazine, which featured a full-page spread on a famous baseball player. Kagami took a moment to think about it.

“Well, I’m a basketball fan, not a baseball fan, but that sounds good enough. Wouldn’t it be weird for me to call you by your first name though?” Kagami asked, and the figure- er, Ryouta- looked at him, unimpressed.

“Do you have any suggestions?”

Kagami scratched the back of his neck.

“How about… Kise? You know, ‘cause your hair is like, unnaturally blonde.” ***

Kise looked somewhat put off by the backhanded compliment, but nodded anyway.

“So, now we have a name for me. But you never told me yours,” Kise said after a short while.

“Oh, you didn’t already know it?” Kagami asked.

“Of course not. Just because I came from another world doesn’t mean I'm omnipotent. I don’t know anything about you.”

“Well,” Kagami started, “It’s Kagami Taiga. I’m a basketball player, and I’m almost ready to start university classes. My dad’s in the USA so I cook for myself and pretty much live alone, and I’m going to get a degree in fire science so I can be a firefighter… or something.” The end of his sentence was sheepish.

Kise gave him a thorough once-over, and tapped his chin.

“A strong, mature athlete who knows how to cook… it should be pretty easy to find you a girlfriend then!”

Kise grinned, but it faltered when he saw the troubled expression on Kagami’s face.

“About that…” Kagami started, feeling heat creep across his cheeks, “I’m not really… into girls.”

A prolonged silence lasted, until Kise finally seemed to understand.

“Oh!” And then, “...Well, that might make things a little bit harder.”

Kagami sighed, already feeling weary.

“Look, I think today has been too eventful. I just want to make some food and get some sleep. We can try the whole falling in love thing tomorrow.”

Kise, who had been lost in thought for a few moments, snapped out of it, and made a sound of agreement.

“It’s been forever since I had human food. What are you going to make?” He asked eagerly.

“I’m probably just gonna make a stir-fry. You can explore the apartment or something while I cook,” Kagami answered, as if Kise were a friend instead of some otherworldly being who had nakedly sauntered (or apparated) his way into Kagami’s life.

As Kise wandered off, Kagami only had a few moments to wonder what he had just accidentally gotten himself into.

* * *

The next morning almost had Kagami believing the previous day was a dream. He hadn’t accidentally summoned a cupid, he hadn’t given a cupid clothes, and he definitely hadn’t fed a cupid and let him sleep on his apartment’s couch for the night.

He would have liked to keep dreaming, if it wasn’t for the fact that when he woke up, there was a bright and smiling face watching him from a position that was way too close for comfort.

“Good morning!”

Kagami nearly jumped into the ceiling.

“How long have you been awake?” He asked.

“About four or five hours. Last night’s nap was pretty nice, but I got bored of it. You humans always need so much sleep, you spend almost a third of your life doing it!”

As Kise babbled on, Kagami didn’t even bother to register what he was saying, still exhausted from the previous day’s happenings.

“...what kind of person would be best for you.”

Kagami stared at Kise blankly.

“What?”

Kise pouted.

“Kagamicchi, you weren’t even listening, were you?”

“Kagami-cchi?”

“It’s a nickname!” Kise said, beaming, and returned to his previous line of thinking. “What I was saying was that if we’re going to try to find you true love, you need to tell me what you look for in a guy. That should make my job easier, and we can start looking soon.”

Kagami frowned, unsure of where to start.

“Well, I’d like a guy who can challenge me in basketball, or at least play.”

Kise stared at him blankly, as if to say, _Really? That’s it?_

“Also, I guess I’d like a guy who will take me seriously, someone who can excite me,” Kagami added. “Someone who knows what he wants in life, and isn’t afraid to get it.”

Kagami looked away, and muttered something else.

“What was that?” Kise tilted his head, curious.

“...and I want him to be cute.”

There was a silence that lasted all of three seconds before Kise burst out laughing.

“You’re the cute one here, Kagamicchi! Getting all shy and embarrassed just because you have a type.”

Kagami frowned.

“Okay then, smartass, what’s your type?” He questioned, still embarrassed.

Kise hummed and thought for a moment.

“I’ll admit, it’s been awhile since I’ve been able to stir up trouble, but I’ve always liked strong guys and smart girls.”

Kagami nodded, satisfied with the conversation, until he looked at the bedside clock and realized that it was getting late into the morning, and he hadn’t texted Himuro to ask if he was okay.


End file.
